Billie Eillish, James Bond and My Much Ado About Nothing Column

So I fell in love with more of Billie Eilish music this past week. Yeah, she’s 17, and that sounds creepy. Also I suppose it’s simple pop music, but it comes across super dark and/or super fun. And the thing is, it’s not just one song. There are a bunch of them.

And again, she’s a 17-year-old kid!

She’s got an older brother who collaborates and produces for her, so maybe that adds to her depth, but I mean he’s only 21!

My first exposure to an Eilish tune was in the Amazon Prime series Hanna. For some reason Rotten Tomatoes only gives it 3 stars. No, no, no, no. Maybe it’s not five out of five, but it’s definitely a four star watch.

Hanna is a teenage girl who is the product of basically a genetic super soldier test. So yes the main actor is a kid, but it also stars Mireille Enos and Joel Kinnaman. These are two fine actors, who maybe you don’t know their names, but as soon as you see their faces, you know you’re going to watch the rest of the show. They always make their characters compelling.

So anyway, Hanna is an action thriller series. And the soundtrack features music by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, their lead singer Karen O and you guessed it, Billie Eillish.

I’m gonna tell ya, you could do a lot worse than Billie Eillish opening for Karen O and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs!

So that’s my non creepy origin story on how I became a fan of teenager Billie Eillish. The music makes you want to move.

Also that little story gives you something to watch if you’ve got a Stranger Things hangover.

Speaking of moves, one of the highlights for the Dream Team, the all star assembled golf squad at this year’s Security Bank Golf Tournament that benefits the HCHS golf team, was of course me on the 2nd hole. Upon exiting the cart near the green, an old Red Hot Chili Peppers tune started up.

It was kind of like one of those 80’s montage moments. It just felt like this song was all about this shot and this shot, was all about me. I even cryptically said, “Boys, I’m feelin’ this.”

So yeah, I chipped in for an eagle. Boom.

My next favorite move was later when I sank a 30 foot putt and did a Megan Rapinoe pose to the Trump supporters in the group behind me! That’s right boyyyyyyyyyyyyyys!

If only at that exact time, we could have blasted Billie Eillish’ “If You Could See Me In A Crown!”

Speaking of the crown, and Her Majesty’s Secret Service, there are stories surfacing regarding a potential black James Bond…who is also a woman!

After delving back and forth into this story, it seems like this may only be half true, as in the actor Lashana Lynch may or may not be THE Bond because during the movie, Daniel Craig’s Bond comes out of retirement.

So this seems like a weird way to halfway address societal imbalance issues.

Personally, as a geeky, white, male, I loved the old Bonds. I’ve made it very clear in this column, many, many times before, Sean Connery was the best! He just was.

Most seem to agree.

After that it was Pierce Brosnan.

Virtually no one seems to agree.

But regardless, Daniel Craig is not! But it’s not his fault.

The James Bond movies since Craig took over have no humor. They have no camp. They are trying to be too serious.

So that’s why we need to bring back Q, bring back funny gadgets, bring back flirty back and forth with super models and more than anything, bring back the fun!

Oh yeah, and a really, really, bad, Bad Guy.

(Hint: Bad Guy is Billie Eillish’ latest, “should be” number one, hit.)