Local Columnist Predicts High Speed Internet and Donald Trump Failure!

Dan K Jackson
4 min readSep 29, 2020

Don’t you people hate it when I’m right? Oh wait, I mean correct. I want to make sure I clarify that. Being “right” in America these days is equivalent to a lot of negative things. None of those things interest me.

So back about 6–7 months ago…just before the pandemic, I wrote a column imploring the next county mayor candidate, which I thought would be a couple years away, to try and stand for something. For instance, how about an issue like high speed internet for all Henry Countians?

At the time, again pre pandemic, I suppose this sounded like a pipe dream. I say this because, the very next day, two friends of mine, a banker and now a candidate for mayor, both laughed at me!

Yeah, the jive turkeys jumped all up on me! Told me it was impossible. Told me it was too expensive. Asked me how I was going to pay for it?

BEFORE: How I felt after writing about the need for county-wide high speed internet !

And now this week, we’re getting high speed internet! What the crap?

I am the canary in the coal mine! Listen up and listen closely, for from my lips the manna of knowledge doeth escape… Wait that doesn’t sound exactly right…I mean correct.

AFTER: Me, with hair! Writing stuff.

Anyway, our next county mayor needs to be a leader. You know, I know, heck, we all know, we are bereft of leadership in Henry County. (For you far right Republicans out there, bereft means without.)

Both our state representative and our state senator are pathetic.

The representative won his seat with a negative campaign filled with lies and half-truths. He ham-fistedly attempted to blackmail the governor into giving his wife a job. He has gotten zero legislation out of committee and it doesn’t look like he ever will! He is a laughingstock in Nashville and among his fellow Republican legislators.

Pretty sure I called all of that during his campaign. Actually I didn’t. Even I couldn’t predict some of the dumb things he would do.

Meanwhile our state senator, John Stevens refuses to hear anything remotely considered non neo-conservative, even though local republicans approach him with these needs. He is party first, the rest of us, last. I keep waiting for pictures in blackface or wearing a white hood to turn up. (You can tell it’s him, he’ll have on boat shoes and no socks.)

Guess whose third fave book, after the Bible and Mein Kampf?

Being a successful County Mayor doesn’t mean raising taxes. It means reaching out, exploring other options. It means utilizing creativity and listening to the ideas of those in your community.

There are so many ways to govern, when you don’t pigeonhole yourself as on one side or the other.

If you freeze out a third of your population, what do you hope to gain with them? You certainly won’t get their input. You won’t gain their creativity.

There is something known as the common good. Roads, schools, law and order, fire protection and utilities are obvious results of people coming together to form a government which reasonably taxes it’s population to pay for this infrastructure.

Which brings us to the next subject, the “genius” known as Donald Trump.

I have told you for years he is not a successful businessman. He has a track record of bankruptcies and business failures. Not until he was able to worm away the rest of his parents estate did he break free from his constant failures.

And now it seems, according to 10 years of tax records, I am again right! I mean correct! And thus vindicated!

This guy is headed for another meltdown, with a balloon payment of 300 million about to come due.

If he doesn’t get re-elected he could not only go to jail for his various contemptuous actions as President, but to debtor’s prison!

Ivanka should be okay, as her husband is actually rich. But what about Donald Trump Jr and the other, even more less smart one, Eric?

Wouldn’t it be great to see Junior flipping burgers somewhere? You gonna have to wear a hair net, boy!

But poor Eric. Maybe cleaning a laundromat? Just cleaning though. We don’t want the Trumps near any cash!

Cheeburger, cheeburger, chip, no Coke, Pepsi!



Dan K Jackson

Just a blue guy in a red state. Been writing a regular column since 2005. Sometimes politics, sometimes food and travel, sometimes comedy, always a smartass.