Space Aliens are Secretly Destroying Your Mind and Our World!
This used to be a crazy thing to say, but with UFO’s running rampant, it becomes oh so more probable.
In 500 words or less, I’m about to tell you what has happened to turn our world upside down.
It all started in the summer of 1947 when a UFO crashed in Roswell, New Mexico.
Our military grabbed the flying saucer, it’s occupants and hid it and them from the alien world.
Those who crashed near Roswell, were just alien teenagers out on a Saturday night joy ride! They were out doing some “human tipping” and then a few space beers later, crash, boom, bam!
Big trouble for them even if they had escaped the dissection at Roswell.
Rich kids and their hijinx are universal. It was a 50 billion dollar space car. Who let’s their kids off planet in one of those?
Anyway, so they got dissected. And their spacecar was stripped for parts.
Guess where Steve Jobs dad worked as a janitor?
Guess where Elon Musk’s mamaw worked in the typing pool?
Seriously people, how do you think Apple computers and it’s competitor Microsoft came about?
No, Bill Gates had nothing to do with Roswell, but Apple computers, phones, iPads, everything are tremendously easier to work!
Do you think high school aliens could have driven halfway across the galaxy in a Microsoft space car?
Heck no! There would be updates every five parsecs!
Think about it, have you ever seen a keyboard on the USS Enterprise?
Of course not, it’s all touchscreens.
More than likely the Millenium Falcon ran MS-DOS. Yeah it had fast speeds. Did the Kessel run in 12 parsecs, but it’s always breaking down! All the time!
The Apple driven Enterprise with Jean Luc, or Captain Kirk or whoever is just fine until some alien culture attacks them from outside.
And I guess you think you see the Elon Musk connection, right? Obviously the founder of SpaceX gleamed all types of rocket information from his grandmother’s recollections of Roswell.
Nope. Instead it all had to do with the aliens (prior to dissection) attempting to contact their parents and request a Venmo! Unfortunately in 1947, we were still 42 years away from having an internet, so the kiddos couldn’t pay off their abductors.
Musk would later be inspired by this revelation from granny and create Paypal.
The home world of the alien teens was obviously pissed. And we all know, the Prime Directive will not allow the aliens to directly interfere with our inferior culture. We barely had rocket travel.
In effect, until we are capable of interstellar travel, it’s not even feasible for them to say hi to us.
And so through careful undercover manipulations, the Koch brothers rich alien family set about to get back at us for our thievery.
Step 1: Give us 42 years to invent the internet
Step 2: Have alien undercover agent steal Facebook idea away from college pals.
Step 3: Trump
Step 4: Apocalypse!!!