Why Do We Still Have Royalty Anywhere?

Dan K Jackson
3 min readMar 10, 2021

Let me start off today by saying, I think Royal anything is stupid.

Wait, wait, wait, let me clarify. Not like Crown Royal or Royal Crown Cola or Royal Blue, a song by the Cold War Kids or even Uniroyal. I’ve had their tire on several vehicles.

No what I’m talking about are Kings and Queens and Princesses and Princes and Duchesses and Dukes etc., etc.

So it might come as a surprise to you that A) on Sunday night I watched the Oprah interview of Megan and Harry and B) on Monday night I watched the Coming 2 America movie about the Royal family of Zamunda.

At least this King learned from his mistakes.

The basic arguably unintentional theme of both productions is just how absolutely stupid it is to have Royalty anywhere, any color, any country, any place ever, ever in the world.

The second, probably intentional theme is how overbearing and petty media coverage is of the useless Royal family.

And then the tertiary result of all this is how insanely doltish all of we are for ingesting this garbage.

And this third tidbit plays for both the Windsors of Britain and the Joffers of Wakunda. Because while we all know how ridiculous it is to have a Republic acting as a Monarchy, and half the citizenry of their nation hinging on every word Piers Morgan says about a “stiff upper lip,” it’s all complete garbage.

The Windsors have zero to do with the functionality of their country. Their function is to sit around and look “British.” And for the population to hold this in such high esteem is just wrong.

In turn, Eddie Murphy, acting in this horribly written, poorly directed, total ripoff of the original, is almost as bad!

It’s not quite as bad, because there are some great costumes, and pretty cool music and choreography scenes, and also it’s not a racist, systemic pillow over your face institution, like you have in Great Britain.

It’s not that I’m surprised by the allegations Harry and Meghan made against, basically his family’s business enterprise, and possibly actual family members. I’m just surprised, though relieved, they said it.

One of these two, is quite possibly insanely dumb or insanely evil.

The comments made about what color the baby might turn out to be, was for me the most explosive revelation.

If you are white, and from the South. You’ve heard these remarks. If you haven’t, you’re either quite lucky, or good at ignoring doltish relatives.

This is racism. If your race is in power, and you make a comment like this about another race, you have made a racist statement. This statement both belittles the other race, and effectively shows your lack of depth, love, compassion and understanding of those who look different from you.

Harry did his dad or perhaps his brother, or perhaps some other miscreant of the Royal service, quite the favor Sunday night. He didn’t reveal who said it.

Isn’t that something?

Where do you draw the line on something like that? Where do we draw the line with people we love?

This morning as I drove in, Bloomberg radio divulged a jobs report, which basically stated, of a large portion of stock exchange listed companies, only 4% had significant minority workers in executive positions.

This is systemic racism. But it’s not changed by a CEO suddenly seeing the light. No, it has to start years before. Systemic change can only happen when the individuals change.

FYI, SHE’S NOT THAT INNOCENT: The Queen stepped in and awarded her other grandkids the title of prince. She opted out for Archie.

And we have to do that ourselves. You have to do it for yourself. And for your children. And for their children.

At that point, when you call out that relative, or that friend or that associate, do you become a responsible citizen. And only then can you effect systemic change.

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Dan K Jackson

Just a blue guy in a red state. Been writing a regular column since 2005. Sometimes politics, sometimes food and travel, sometimes comedy, always a smartass.