Why Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth When You Can Punch Them in the Throat?
Look folks, you’re coming up on the last few shopping days until Christmas. Let’s not go crazy. There is no need to panic. As usual, I am here for you. I am going to make your last minute Christmas shopping much easier.
First, let’s try and buy local.
No matter where you’re reading this, St. Louis, South Carolina, Leiper’s Fork or good ol Paris Tennessee, the first thing in your mind should always be, “All politics is local!”
Okay no that’s wrong, though true. But seriously the first thing should be don’t poop where you eat.
Wait, no that’s not exactly what I was going for either. What I meant to say, is, it’s important to buy from your neighbors because their products are better, and you will get a much better deal.
Okay, okay, that’s not always true, but many times it’s very close to true. Plus, it’s very difficult to run a small business these days as Amazon seeks to suck the blood from our veins.
So, it’s nice if you would buy from your neighbors, especially if it’s a reasonable price. Remember it doesn’t have to be the cheapest in the world! Maybe within 10 percent?
The sad thing is I now count Wal Mart in the category of being local. Why?
Local sales tax. That sales tax supports a whole lot of infrastructure.
Therefore, it’s kind of dumb for you to buy something on Amazon for $90 when you could have bought it local for $99. That extra small percentage is not going to kill you!
That being said, let’s take a look at some different local businesses where you might find a deal you didn’t expect!
For instance, do you have practical people in your life?
I do. My mom.
She’s got a swimming pool. So, what am I getting her for Christmas?
That’s right, chlorine from Jerry Bell and Paris Pool Supply. Stop in and see Jerry during the Christmas holidays. There is no one I know, more full of the Christmas spirit…or something. Regardless he’ll probably cut you a great deal during the off season!
Plus, he’s just pleasant to talk with.
You know who else is nice to talk with?
That’s right, Chris (Christmas) Martin. Maybe you can get a gift certificate from Christmas for a building project? Just check the expiration date. This weekend I received a restaurant gift certificate you had to use within 90 days. I’d make sure Christmas’ Christmas certificate had at least 90 days, plus about five thousand more.
Just kidding Martin. (not kidding everyone)
Recently a great friend of mine, Todd Latta started a great service. For a set fee, Todd will call you, text you, follow you on Facebook, troll you on Twitter, and stalk you in Wal Mart!
It’s kind of like you have a devoted friend. But it’s also like you need to get a restraining order.
On the other hand, it does take you out of the normal hum drum dirge of everyday life.
So, find Todd on the interwebs. I believe the website is HugsNotDrugs.com. Or something like that.
Coincidentally, Todd’s soul mate Andy Collins also has started a side hustle. Yes, while he’s not providing all your banking needs, or hunting deer, or ducks, or fishes, or high school football, he is life coaching!
That’s right we’ve all heard of life coaches. Andy, who in fantasy football has finished with a losing record 7 of the last 10 years, drafted Tannehill and Derrick Henry, way too early. However, nowadays you can’t beat that smug look off his face with a shovel.
And I’ve thought about it.
Anyway, from fantasy football, to dating advice, to marriage advice, to hunting advice, to fishing advice, to golfing advice, to iPhone advice, to comic book movie advice, to 90’s rap advice, life coach Collins has it all. Best news though, a 30 minute session will only cost you your sanity.
Oh, one more thing, need to borrow a golf cart over the Christmas break?
Rob Wells is your man.
Ah Christmas, a time when giving thanks is over and giving and taking gifts is happening!
Merry Christmas everyone!