You Can Enjoy Beautiful During an Ugly Time
It’s turning into an insanely beautiful spring, yet we’re living in the biggest nuclear winter we could imagine…or survive.
Seriously, do any of you remember these many weeks in late March and early April of seventy degree weather?
I don’t want to be one of those “go to church on Sunday” types who praises the almighty for giving us such beautiful days to suffer through a calamity, but it is weird…and I am grateful.
And it’s not like you can’t enjoy the weather. You can.
You can get outside. You can relax in the yard. You can work in the garage. You can shovel mulch. You just shouldn’t go to Lowe’s in the middle of a pandemic to buy plants, and then stroll around shopping!
Surgical strikes people! Surgical strikes!
Did none of you watch the Walking Dead? This is how you should approach it:
Darryl, you’re on point.
Glenn, you head for the toilet paper. I know it’s Lowe’s but they may have it here and people might have forgotten. It would be a major score!
Carol, your target is the hostas. They are a shade tolerant foliage plant. We need them for the backyard.
Carl, you stick with Carol and help with the plants. And don’t linger around touching stuff!
“But dad,” interjects Carl.
No buts, you little whiney turd! You know you can’t lift a bag of mulch! That’s for me and Abraham.
Michonne, you watch our back door. (Foreshadowing to future season.) If you see any close talking yahoos approach, take them out!
This is how you shop in the days of Covid-19! Get in. Get out. Don’t dally!
Look folks you’ve got it better than the folks in the Walking Dead, but still, and seriously, shopping is one of the dumbest things we do here locally.
I know, I know, you want to get out of the house. And you can do that, but it must be in a responsible way.
You want to go for a walk? Go for a walk.
But Dan, they closed the parks.
They closed the parks, because you people can’t be trusted to wash your hands, therefore all the equipment and what not has your germs everywhere. So, take a walk and get some exercise.
You can go fishing. We have a lake. We have a huge lake. Do you know how many people can’t say that? Just don’t line up shoulder to shoulder down the shore! Find your own fishing hole.
Take a lunch. I suggest an LL Burger or 4. After it soaks up all the deliciousness for a little while, it’ll be better than ever!
You actually can go play golf. But even then, you must social distance and the golf course must take extensive measures to insure your safety.
I think we’ve all learned something from this. And that is we need each other, we need human contact, and we need person to person interaction even more than we realized.
Some people say this has changed us. Some say handshakes will go away.
So are high fives going away? Are hugs going away? Are throat punches going away?
I don’t think so.
But this beautiful spring soon will. So, get out there and enjoy it. Just stay the hell away from me!